Two minute tug - it's not what you think.

More great useless information form Hugo. Thnx for sending it to my wife but she has one question – “What if you're a Brazilian????”

Two minute tug on the rug can help you lose weight, look more beautiful???!!!

MSN News - Women can lose weight and look more beautiful simply by tugging on their pubic hair, according to Shukan Josei (5/22).
Clutching at the map of Tasmania stimulates the sex hormones, gets blood flowing toward the genitals and releases pheromones.
It's the release of pheromones that is said to give women in love their "glow" and what is being attributed for making women who try the trick appear to be more beautiful.
Women are advised to tug their pubes while they're still dry and then move the clump of hair around in a circular motion. They're also told to run their fingers through their pubic hair the same way they would do when fondling their regular hair.
Women are told not to worry about pubic hairs that fall out and to continue yanking away for about 1 to 2 minutes.
That's the theory, but does it really work? A little bit, according to physician Hideo Yamanaka.
"If the erogenous zones near the genitals are aroused, it leads to an increased emission of the female hormone estrogen, which certainly makes the skin look better," Dr. Yamanaka tells Shukan Josei. "It could also help alleviate the ill effects of menopause and irregular periods."
Dr. Yamanaka continues: "One of the effects of female hormones is to make it easier for fat to build up under the skin, which gives women a more feminine look."
So, there may be something in the claims that pulling on pubes makes women beautiful. But the doctor is more skeptical when it comes to any dietary benefits.
"I really don't know about this being any good in terms of a diet. Normally, dieting tends to limit the amount of female hormones emitted," Dr. Yamanaka tells Shukan Josei. "But if women did this while they were also on a diet, I guess there is a possibility that it could make them look both beautiful and thinner." (By Ryann Connell) May 11, 2007

I don't think they meant this kind of hair tugging.

Jerry Masterson, age 8, Returns

Just Point

For those that do not know me , I have done a lot of work picking people up off the ground, the snow, and off rivers over the last 7 years. It seems that I gravitate towards helping broken people (just ask any X). My jobs throughout the years have included ski patrol, river rescue, emergency medical response , fire fighting and the like. I just completed yet another first-aid re-cert course and while sitting there letting my mind wander, some of the more memorable calls I have attended came to mind. One common thread though all my training and responses is that you need to determine how bad off a person is and pain is usually a pretty good indicator. If you have ever had an ambulance ride or tried to check into an ER you most likely had to communicate to someone how bad is your pain was. To help you out this you may get a question formated something like this

With 0 being no pain and 10 being your worst pain EVER what is your pain from a scale of 0 to 10?

Now to judge how much of a wimp you are, this follow question usually follows

What was your worst pain EVER?

Now some people, during a painful episode, are incapable of answering this most seemingly simple query. This inability may be caused by a few things such as extreme pain, no lower jaw, a smuck to the head and even sometimes death - most dead people tend not to answer.

So - if you are injured and you are unable to answer the question there is an easy way to communicate your pain level. If you're dead - sorry I can not help you. But for those of you still with a pulse, you can print off this handy-dandy Pain Chart and leave it in your wallet. Then when you are writhing in pain on the sidewalk with your foot next to your head after a bus ran over you and someone asks you how you are doing, all you have to do is whip out your little chart and reference the corresponding number.

While your at it, why not print out the rest of these charts too and whenever you're asks a pertaining question use the appropriate chart and point.

Charts used without permission form BLOGOGRAPHY.COM
Is that a level 3 evil or level 4 dick???
Check out Dave's blog - very funny.

Vanlentines are F*#ked!

(click to enlarge)

In the immortal words of Hügo the Philosopher

So true...

Free Breast Exam

I thought of Ward...well actually Wards breasts...when I saw this. I think "Breast Exam Cam" is hiring - I am so in!!!!

Who’s Tougher

Been out of the Blog loop a while – sorry to all you die hard UTCWAP Blog fans (Wardo & Mego) but I have been kind of busy.

One of my busy activities has been baby making. He/She should be here any day.

Is it OK for me to say “we” are having a baby? Some people say that the Mom does all of the work but that the Dad takes credit for “having the baby”. We Dads do a lot of work too! While Mom is being slowly and increasingly tortured from with in for 9 months , us Dads have to listen to all the whining and requests for us to make it better. What can we do? Is there actually a way we can take all the pain away and no one told us. Maybe it will be in the Daddy Instructional DVD I bid for on eBay that I should allow 6 to 8 weeks for delivery. Maybe I can find the almighty answer in the ever accurate and all knowing Wikipedia.

So the question arises – Who’s Tougher – us Men or you Women. Yes it is true that you Women push a 5-pin bowling ball out your crotch but lets look at the big picture. How many times does an average woman give birth? Two? Three? Lets say four for arguments sake. So if you had these women rate the pain level a zero to ten with ten being the worst pain they have ever felt, what would the rating be? Again for the sake of argument lets say they rate it all the way up to a ten. SO – ten times four is 40. Would it be fare to give the rating of giving birth to four children a 40 on the pain scale?

OK now lets look at us Men. Hands down the worst pain for us - getting kicked in the nuts. There is always one little girl in the play ground who likes to see the facial expressions of the boys when she walks up and out of the blue lays her size 5 to an unsuspecting crotch. If you ask I would have to say that this pain rakes up there at least at an 8 on the ol’ pain-o-scale. Now we boys usually get the old crotch shot annually even if we needed it or not. So if you start counting crotch shots starting at school age (~5), by the time you are 35 (average age of a birthing woman) you would have at least 30 contacts give or take a few near misses. This adds up to a whopping 240 point on the ol’ pain-o-scale. So I say to all you prego’s out in baby making land, stop complaining about how much it hurts cuz we have it worse then you do.

Just walk up to us and kick us in the nuts!!

Cougar Defined

The term "Cougar" describes a woman in her forties who smokes drinks and prowls clubs and pubs on the hunt for fresh meat (young viral men in their twenties). Cougars tend to be divorced and sometimes with cubs. The most successful cougars are those who married well and got huge divorce settlements. Lesser Cougars clawed their way to the top and made their own money. Species characteristics, according to one source, include an avid consumption of home products such as tinfoil and/or Cheez Whiz and a have limited interest/capacity for technology. Diet leans toward high fat content but Cougars are usually in shape due to genetics and extensive shopping, dinner party planning and traveling habits. There is a less expensive subspecies that commonly wears yellow Spandex, 6 inch high heels shoes and faux Value Village fir coat. Instead of the bar as hunting grounds, this modified version stalks the produce section of your local grocery store. Common name for this subspecies is Spandex Grandma and can be identified by home hair dye job and pony tail which pulls face wrinkles flat. What is common of all Cougars is that they all wear lots of makeup, Lee press-on nails and goddy jewelry.

Wheee!

Two fold reason for posting this. First is that it is the right thing to do and second is that people always say to me Dr. BB, what it the best advice can give me about my PC? My comment is to dump Microsoft's Internet Explore as your internet connector and get Firefox instead. Firefox is way much very more betterer then anything ever created ever-ever. The following video is educational, heart wrenching and based on a true story. I hope it will help explain everything to open your eyes to a new beginning - Wheee!

Hoffta See This

Remember what I said eailier about the Hoff thinking he was... ..well.... ...never mind, just go and check out this video and you'll get my point!!!

Hoffta See this

Train wreck....can't....look....a.....way.......Kit get me out of here!

Back in the Day

I am sure that all of us have done something that in the past, back in collage, that we are not very proud of. For me it was that ex-hooker, mother of three - ya - not so proud. The short of the story is that I am getting over it and I am moving on with my life. Why am I sharing this with you - well I want a friend of mine to face up to his past and be "OK" with it. The man is a respectful man with good job - just got promoted in fact - and I hate to see him lament over his troubled past. Word has it that he has has shown very aggressive tendencies towards a group of his co-workers when they confronted him about this past by throwing objects across the room in anger. Even when asked mano a mano, he denies his past and tries to brush it off like nothing happened. Well, this is why I am putting up this posting on my blog. I know he is a regular reader of my blog and maybe in my little way I can help him see the light of clear guilt free future. Here is a web site with some relaxing sounds that should help you calm the anger and accept who and what you really are - Ass Man - we ARE listening...

Awkward E

This is a great comic strip if you are into sick and twisted humour like I. Enjoy! It says so much and yet so very little. Click the pic to check out the plethora of Cyanide and Happiness strips.

Everyone Loves to Hate The Hoff

If you look at this picture, I mean REALLY look at it - deep into Dave's eyes - what is he saying to you? "YEAH! - I have a BIG metal POLE! Seriously though, the guys thinks he is a huge rock star, an amazing actor and a sexy hunk ta-boot! Well I guess he really is all of these in Germany. Give it a shot and type in The Hoff on Google and you'll be suprized with what you find. This is where I found this beauty of a B&W. I plan to get it silk screened on a sheet and then tack the sheet onto my ceiling above my bed. It will help both me and my wifes sex life. When she is looking up she can dream of the best Hoffing she has ever had and when I am looking up I can just look deep in to those eyes and ... ...well... ... just get lost in the moment. Here are all kinds of digitally "re-mastered" pics of the Hoffer himself. I personally like the soap dispenser one. Sorry for no link to that one. I saw it but now that I want to share it, I can't find it again. If you find it let let me know.
I feel for the guy - not in a lovey dovey way (as long as I don't look into those eyes... ...sigh...) but because he really truely thinks that he is one of the greatest entertainers of our time. He had a big pay-for-view concert the same day that OJ Simpson was doing the ol' slow speed chase in the infamous white Bronco. The concert was a total flop. There was a total of 13 people who tuned in to watch it - one was his mother but she fell asleep and missed it!! Gotta hand it to the guy - he keeps his chin up and his jackets 80's leather - becsue it looks oh so good on him. He is on a supposid come back with Simons new show. It should be fun watching him try to make everybody understand that he is kewl, that he is sexy, that he is the one and only HOFF