Changes

Ever had that "leaving a job" feeling?

Its when you have just days left before you are to leave and you start thinking about the things you are going to miss about your old job. Most times when you leave a job there are reasons for your departure but there are always goods thing and good people you wish you could take with you. That was the case at my last job - I wont name names but I know for a fact that a few people from my past employer will read this and to those people I would like to say thnx for being part of my 20 month run there(wow only 20 months - it seems a lot longer). I will miss you but will not miss the late night camp checks and the haunted SSJV (always felt like someone or something was watching me go into the Fire Hall...) There were good time had with many.

Now a note to all friend and foe of my last employer - If you feel the need to spread vicious rumors about me, tell and make up lies about my sexual orientation, and/or just plain curse me out - by all means have at 'er. The bigger and the more witnesses the better. But make me one promise - let me know what the rumors are so I can confirm them all. And also - if something goes wrong over shutdown - blame me. It's always the fault of the guy who just left

But with every ending there is a beginning and the new job is looking to be a good challenge - I already have homework!! I am treated with respect and given freedom to let my skills prove themselves - it feels good. And it will not take me long for me to get back to real world hours. I think the biggest challenge Kellee and I face is the purchase of a home . We should have no problem selling our current house in Athabasca but the hard part will be finding a place in the greater Edmonton area at a half decent price. We are finishing up the renovations that we started and after that we will list it. Know of any body interested please direct them to us.

To all my friends at Alpac - keep in touch!

Just Point

For those that do not know me , I have done a lot of work picking people up off the ground, the snow, and off rivers over the last 7 years. It seems that I gravitate towards helping broken people (just ask any X). My jobs throughout the years have included ski patrol, river rescue, emergency medical response , fire fighting and the like. I just completed yet another first-aid re-cert course and while sitting there letting my mind wander, some of the more memorable calls I have attended came to mind. One common thread though all my training and responses is that you need to determine how bad off a person is and pain is usually a pretty good indicator. If you have ever had an ambulance ride or tried to check into an ER you most likely had to communicate to someone how bad is your pain was. To help you out this you may get a question formated something like this

With 0 being no pain and 10 being your worst pain EVER what is your pain from a scale of 0 to 10?

Now to judge how much of a wimp you are, this follow question usually follows

What was your worst pain EVER?

Now some people, during a painful episode, are incapable of answering this most seemingly simple query. This inability may be caused by a few things such as extreme pain, no lower jaw, a smuck to the head and even sometimes death - most dead people tend not to answer.

So - if you are injured and you are unable to answer the question there is an easy way to communicate your pain level. If you're dead - sorry I can not help you. But for those of you still with a pulse, you can print off this handy-dandy Pain Chart and leave it in your wallet. Then when you are writhing in pain on the sidewalk with your foot next to your head after a bus ran over you and someone asks you how you are doing, all you have to do is whip out your little chart and reference the corresponding number.

While your at it, why not print out the rest of these charts too and whenever you're asks a pertaining question use the appropriate chart and point.

Charts used without permission form BLOGOGRAPHY.COM
Is that a level 3 evil or level 4 dick???
Check out Dave's blog - very funny.

Dead Yes - But 5 Days?

I love it when an email sucks people into believing it just because it's in writing. Case in point, take the article below that appeared in the New York Times back in December 2001.

While reading, what was your initial response? Disbelief? But then you read on and put aside your skepticism and said "Wow that would suck!" Well that was my experience. But then I did what any internet savvy person would of done - I Googled it - and here is what I found.

Poor Mr. Turklebaum - he just wanted to be left alone...

Vanlentines are F*#ked!

(click to enlarge)

In the immortal words of Hügo the Philosopher

So true...

Is it Really a Secret?

My brother told me about a movie – The Secret. It’s web site dub's it a

...ground-breaking feature length movie presentation reveals The Great Secret of
the universe...

According to them (the movie), The Great Secret is knowing about and understanding what they call The Law of Attraction. In a nutshell, the Law of Attraction is that whatever you think and feel will most likely present itself to you in your life. For example, if you are always grumpy and get upset easily, then you will attract to you grumpy easily upsetable people in your life. On the other hand if you are a positive upbeat person, those types of people with ‘manifest’ themselves into your life.

The claim is you can also use this Law of Attraction to get things that you want such as

… unlimited joy, health, money, relationships, love, youth: everything you have
ever wanted...

To make a $1,000,000, you need to start visualizing you already own a $1,000,000. The feelings you generate while visualizing you already own $1,000,000 will ‘project’ $1,000,000 thought energy which in turn will actually bring about situations or opportunities that will help you become a millionaire.

Interesting???? Of course it is. Skeptical??? A little.

I am already a firm believer that you are able ‘choose’ what happens to you in your life and that you always have the power to change anything about yourself by simply making the choice to do so. I also have long identified that the platitude “Good things happen to good people” tends to be more true then it is false so I find it an easy transition understanding the Law of Attraction and its proposal of 'positive thinking gains positive results'.

Just last night, after Kellee and I watched the movie for the first time, I asked and visualized for Braun, our new born son, to sleep better. This morning when I got up for work Kellee informed me that he slept from 12:30 am all the way though to 05:00 am. That’s good for him. Kellee was pleased that he was able to sleep more then 2 hours at a time. I know it’s a small thing and it may just be a coincidence but it was kind of neat to see it happen.

We were both very tired and did not watch the full movie so the verdict is still out as to whether or not I buy into the whole Secret thing. I have seen, heard, read about these ideas for years so nothing is really new to me and I just can’t shake the thought that someone has used the ol' cut & paste technique to create this secret thing just for money gains. It is true, in my mind, that positive thinking can make your life better but it just seems they are sticking the proverbial carrot out in from of you to get you to follow. Generally once people hop on a bandwagon, what ever it is, they tend to loosen up their purse strings and make the leader rich. Reminds me to much of church. We all know what they want when that basket is passed. I just can’t shake the feeling of religion when I look at this.

Tell you what, take a look for yourself and let me know what you think.

Five Minutes In

The end was near, the count down of the all too familiar 10... 9... 8... was soon upon me and I was feeling a little melancholy.

This New Years Eve was spent at home with my family – who all happened to be asleep as the countdown quietly rang in my head. Feeling that I had to some how mark the transitions between old and new, I poured myself a Guinness, woke my dog and pulled her outside to sit on the back porch to watch the winter moon. With one hand wrapped around a pint and the other scratching Nikka’s ear, I toasted the waxing winter moon welcoming in the newest year yet. Thoughts of debauchery and craziness of past New Years raced in my head as I could not shake the feeling that I was some how missing out this time 'round. The crisp winter night air quickly chased me back inside so I followed the very willing Nikka back into the house only to hear the beeping of my watch marking the official Timex 0000 hrs. Seemingly, another sad reminder of the fact that I was “not doing anything for New Years”. I felt the erg to give my Nana a call thinking that she would answer with the always expected cheerful “Happy New Year!” When she was alive, it did not matter where I was, I always knew that I could call Nana just after midnight knowing she was waiting for a call. I miss that. Still feeling down I decided to do the rounds in my house to get my New Years kiss fix. First was Rownan, he didn’t even budge when I wished him a Happy New Year. I startled Braun with a kiss on the cheek but he stayed sleeping. Kellee was so tired I am not sure it even registered what I whispered into her ear. When I was done I retreated back to the kitchen to finish my pint and sulk some more when I heard foot shuffles down the hallway. Rownan was up. He walked right past me with a “just woke up – eyes still adjusting to the bright lights look”. I called to him and he sleepily informed me that he had to pee. After he was done, I carried him to bed and laid him down whispering to him again “Happy New Year Buddy” and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Now remember he is three and we have never wished him a Happy New Year before while he was awake nor had we talked about it to him.

His response with hugging arms was

“Happy New Years to you Dad.”

Now THAT was the New Years Eve something special I was looking for.

Two things I had leaving his room - a big smile and a tear in my eye.

Five minutes into 2007 and I already have had a Happy New Year - not bad...

Thnx Rown

Hosenfefer Hump

Also known as:
It’s been a while since I donned the red'n black fleece of a Rabbit Hill Snow Resort employee but I still miss that "little hill just outside of Edmonton". It was like my second home - wait it WAS my home and I miss my RH family... I keep an eye on things vicariously thought the web site and it looks DAM GOOD!!! That’s ‘cuz most of the pics on the site I can take credit for. Not the fancy web design stuff but I was the guy that made the camera go “click”.

So go check the web site then head out there and strap on skis or a board and have a blast. This year has been their best year for snow in a while. They finally opened their back bowl!!

When you get there, tell them Jason says “Hi” and they might even let you ski/ride for double the price. Watch out for Rich though - he might come from Tulsa and poke you with a stick...

Who’s Tougher

Been out of the Blog loop a while – sorry to all you die hard UTCWAP Blog fans (Wardo & Mego) but I have been kind of busy.

One of my busy activities has been baby making. He/She should be here any day.

Is it OK for me to say “we” are having a baby? Some people say that the Mom does all of the work but that the Dad takes credit for “having the baby”. We Dads do a lot of work too! While Mom is being slowly and increasingly tortured from with in for 9 months , us Dads have to listen to all the whining and requests for us to make it better. What can we do? Is there actually a way we can take all the pain away and no one told us. Maybe it will be in the Daddy Instructional DVD I bid for on eBay that I should allow 6 to 8 weeks for delivery. Maybe I can find the almighty answer in the ever accurate and all knowing Wikipedia.

So the question arises – Who’s Tougher – us Men or you Women. Yes it is true that you Women push a 5-pin bowling ball out your crotch but lets look at the big picture. How many times does an average woman give birth? Two? Three? Lets say four for arguments sake. So if you had these women rate the pain level a zero to ten with ten being the worst pain they have ever felt, what would the rating be? Again for the sake of argument lets say they rate it all the way up to a ten. SO – ten times four is 40. Would it be fare to give the rating of giving birth to four children a 40 on the pain scale?

OK now lets look at us Men. Hands down the worst pain for us - getting kicked in the nuts. There is always one little girl in the play ground who likes to see the facial expressions of the boys when she walks up and out of the blue lays her size 5 to an unsuspecting crotch. If you ask I would have to say that this pain rakes up there at least at an 8 on the ol’ pain-o-scale. Now we boys usually get the old crotch shot annually even if we needed it or not. So if you start counting crotch shots starting at school age (~5), by the time you are 35 (average age of a birthing woman) you would have at least 30 contacts give or take a few near misses. This adds up to a whopping 240 point on the ol’ pain-o-scale. So I say to all you prego’s out in baby making land, stop complaining about how much it hurts cuz we have it worse then you do.

Just walk up to us and kick us in the nuts!!

Cougar Defined

The term "Cougar" describes a woman in her forties who smokes drinks and prowls clubs and pubs on the hunt for fresh meat (young viral men in their twenties). Cougars tend to be divorced and sometimes with cubs. The most successful cougars are those who married well and got huge divorce settlements. Lesser Cougars clawed their way to the top and made their own money. Species characteristics, according to one source, include an avid consumption of home products such as tinfoil and/or Cheez Whiz and a have limited interest/capacity for technology. Diet leans toward high fat content but Cougars are usually in shape due to genetics and extensive shopping, dinner party planning and traveling habits. There is a less expensive subspecies that commonly wears yellow Spandex, 6 inch high heels shoes and faux Value Village fir coat. Instead of the bar as hunting grounds, this modified version stalks the produce section of your local grocery store. Common name for this subspecies is Spandex Grandma and can be identified by home hair dye job and pony tail which pulls face wrinkles flat. What is common of all Cougars is that they all wear lots of makeup, Lee press-on nails and goddy jewelry.

Back in the Day

I am sure that all of us have done something that in the past, back in collage, that we are not very proud of. For me it was that ex-hooker, mother of three - ya - not so proud. The short of the story is that I am getting over it and I am moving on with my life. Why am I sharing this with you - well I want a friend of mine to face up to his past and be "OK" with it. The man is a respectful man with good job - just got promoted in fact - and I hate to see him lament over his troubled past. Word has it that he has has shown very aggressive tendencies towards a group of his co-workers when they confronted him about this past by throwing objects across the room in anger. Even when asked mano a mano, he denies his past and tries to brush it off like nothing happened. Well, this is why I am putting up this posting on my blog. I know he is a regular reader of my blog and maybe in my little way I can help him see the light of clear guilt free future. Here is a web site with some relaxing sounds that should help you calm the anger and accept who and what you really are - Ass Man - we ARE listening...

The More You Know

I attended a local music festival this Canada Day weekend (oh by the way, happy belated Canada Day!) and I ran into a friend of mine that I used to work with back in my summer camp and canoe instructing days. She is one of those friends that can and will talk about anything – anytime - anywhere no matter who is around. She is just a straight forward no holds bard kinda girl that is a little crazy at times and that’s why I like her. We got onto the topic of “shit” and she relayed some interesting trivia to me.

Did you know that the word “shit” came from a long, long time ago in a land not so far off?

When the benefits of manure were discovered and it was being shipped all over the world as bails in the hulls of big leaky wooden ships. If the poop bails was placed at the bottom of the ship, the water would get at them and make a huge stinky mess. Therefore, the ship dudes, in all there wisdom decided to make sure that the poop bails where not placed at the bottom of the ships but instead high in the hull where water was less likely to get at them and cause the previously mentioned stinky mess. To ensure this happened, a stamp was placed on the side of the poop bails with the letters S-H-I-T meaning that the bails were to be Shipped High In Transit. Now you know!

Everyone Loves to Hate The Hoff

If you look at this picture, I mean REALLY look at it - deep into Dave's eyes - what is he saying to you? "YEAH! - I have a BIG metal POLE! Seriously though, the guys thinks he is a huge rock star, an amazing actor and a sexy hunk ta-boot! Well I guess he really is all of these in Germany. Give it a shot and type in The Hoff on Google and you'll be suprized with what you find. This is where I found this beauty of a B&W. I plan to get it silk screened on a sheet and then tack the sheet onto my ceiling above my bed. It will help both me and my wifes sex life. When she is looking up she can dream of the best Hoffing she has ever had and when I am looking up I can just look deep in to those eyes and ... ...well... ... just get lost in the moment. Here are all kinds of digitally "re-mastered" pics of the Hoffer himself. I personally like the soap dispenser one. Sorry for no link to that one. I saw it but now that I want to share it, I can't find it again. If you find it let let me know.
I feel for the guy - not in a lovey dovey way (as long as I don't look into those eyes... ...sigh...) but because he really truely thinks that he is one of the greatest entertainers of our time. He had a big pay-for-view concert the same day that OJ Simpson was doing the ol' slow speed chase in the infamous white Bronco. The concert was a total flop. There was a total of 13 people who tuned in to watch it - one was his mother but she fell asleep and missed it!! Gotta hand it to the guy - he keeps his chin up and his jackets 80's leather - becsue it looks oh so good on him. He is on a supposid come back with Simons new show. It should be fun watching him try to make everybody understand that he is kewl, that he is sexy, that he is the one and only HOFF