Cougar Defined

The term "Cougar" describes a woman in her forties who smokes drinks and prowls clubs and pubs on the hunt for fresh meat (young viral men in their twenties). Cougars tend to be divorced and sometimes with cubs. The most successful cougars are those who married well and got huge divorce settlements. Lesser Cougars clawed their way to the top and made their own money. Species characteristics, according to one source, include an avid consumption of home products such as tinfoil and/or Cheez Whiz and a have limited interest/capacity for technology. Diet leans toward high fat content but Cougars are usually in shape due to genetics and extensive shopping, dinner party planning and traveling habits. There is a less expensive subspecies that commonly wears yellow Spandex, 6 inch high heels shoes and faux Value Village fir coat. Instead of the bar as hunting grounds, this modified version stalks the produce section of your local grocery store. Common name for this subspecies is Spandex Grandma and can be identified by home hair dye job and pony tail which pulls face wrinkles flat. What is common of all Cougars is that they all wear lots of makeup, Lee press-on nails and goddy jewelry.