Vanlentines are F*#ked!

(click to enlarge)

In the immortal words of Hügo the Philosopher

So true...

Is it Really a Secret?

My brother told me about a movie – The Secret. It’s web site dub's it a

...ground-breaking feature length movie presentation reveals The Great Secret of
the universe...

According to them (the movie), The Great Secret is knowing about and understanding what they call The Law of Attraction. In a nutshell, the Law of Attraction is that whatever you think and feel will most likely present itself to you in your life. For example, if you are always grumpy and get upset easily, then you will attract to you grumpy easily upsetable people in your life. On the other hand if you are a positive upbeat person, those types of people with ‘manifest’ themselves into your life.

The claim is you can also use this Law of Attraction to get things that you want such as

… unlimited joy, health, money, relationships, love, youth: everything you have
ever wanted...

To make a $1,000,000, you need to start visualizing you already own a $1,000,000. The feelings you generate while visualizing you already own $1,000,000 will ‘project’ $1,000,000 thought energy which in turn will actually bring about situations or opportunities that will help you become a millionaire.

Interesting???? Of course it is. Skeptical??? A little.

I am already a firm believer that you are able ‘choose’ what happens to you in your life and that you always have the power to change anything about yourself by simply making the choice to do so. I also have long identified that the platitude “Good things happen to good people” tends to be more true then it is false so I find it an easy transition understanding the Law of Attraction and its proposal of 'positive thinking gains positive results'.

Just last night, after Kellee and I watched the movie for the first time, I asked and visualized for Braun, our new born son, to sleep better. This morning when I got up for work Kellee informed me that he slept from 12:30 am all the way though to 05:00 am. That’s good for him. Kellee was pleased that he was able to sleep more then 2 hours at a time. I know it’s a small thing and it may just be a coincidence but it was kind of neat to see it happen.

We were both very tired and did not watch the full movie so the verdict is still out as to whether or not I buy into the whole Secret thing. I have seen, heard, read about these ideas for years so nothing is really new to me and I just can’t shake the thought that someone has used the ol' cut & paste technique to create this secret thing just for money gains. It is true, in my mind, that positive thinking can make your life better but it just seems they are sticking the proverbial carrot out in from of you to get you to follow. Generally once people hop on a bandwagon, what ever it is, they tend to loosen up their purse strings and make the leader rich. Reminds me to much of church. We all know what they want when that basket is passed. I just can’t shake the feeling of religion when I look at this.

Tell you what, take a look for yourself and let me know what you think.

Reverend John Fluff

The Reverend John Fluff was the pastor in a small town in Ireland. One day he was walking down the high street when he noticed a young lady of his congregation sitting in a pub drinking beer. The Reverend wasn't happy.
He walked through the open door of the pub and sat down next to the woman.
"Miss Fitzgerald", he said sternly. "This is no place for a member of my congregation. Why don't you let me take you home?"
"Sure", she said with a slur, obviously very drunk.
When Miss Fitzgerald stood up from the bar, she began to weave back and forth. The Reverend realised that she'd had far too much to drink and grabbed her arms to steady her. When he did, they both lost their balance and tumbled to the floor.
After rolling around for a few moments, the Reverend wound up on top of Miss Fitzgerald, her skirt hiked up to her waist.
The pub landlord looked over and said, "Oy mate, we won't have any of that carrying on in this pub." The Reverend looked up at the landlord and said, "But you don't understand, I'm Pastor Fluff."
The landlord nodded and said, "Ah well, if you're that far in, you might as well finish."

What Part of you Body Goes to Heaven First?

The nun teaching Sunday School was speaking to her class one morning and she asked the question, "When you die and go to Heaven...which part of your body goes first?"

Suzy raised her hand and said, "I think it's your hands."

"Why do you think it's your hands, Suzy?"
Suzy replied, "Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in front of you and God just takes your hands first."

"What a wonderful answer!" the nun said.
Little Johnny raised his hand and said, "Sister, I think it's your feet."
The nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face. "Now, Little Johnny,why do you think it would be your feet?"
Little Johnny said, "Well, I walked into Mommy and Daddy's room the other night. Mommy had her legs straight up in the air and she was saying, "Oh God, I'm coming!"
"If Dad hadn't pinned her down, we'd have lost her."
The Nun fainted.

Blast from the Past

Hello to all 2 of my loyal fans out there! I was going throught my old bookmarks I found one for my fist blog. It has pics of Kellee and my wedding and a few cute ones of Rown.

Hope you Enjoy!

Five Minutes In

The end was near, the count down of the all too familiar 10... 9... 8... was soon upon me and I was feeling a little melancholy.

This New Years Eve was spent at home with my family – who all happened to be asleep as the countdown quietly rang in my head. Feeling that I had to some how mark the transitions between old and new, I poured myself a Guinness, woke my dog and pulled her outside to sit on the back porch to watch the winter moon. With one hand wrapped around a pint and the other scratching Nikka’s ear, I toasted the waxing winter moon welcoming in the newest year yet. Thoughts of debauchery and craziness of past New Years raced in my head as I could not shake the feeling that I was some how missing out this time 'round. The crisp winter night air quickly chased me back inside so I followed the very willing Nikka back into the house only to hear the beeping of my watch marking the official Timex 0000 hrs. Seemingly, another sad reminder of the fact that I was “not doing anything for New Years”. I felt the erg to give my Nana a call thinking that she would answer with the always expected cheerful “Happy New Year!” When she was alive, it did not matter where I was, I always knew that I could call Nana just after midnight knowing she was waiting for a call. I miss that. Still feeling down I decided to do the rounds in my house to get my New Years kiss fix. First was Rownan, he didn’t even budge when I wished him a Happy New Year. I startled Braun with a kiss on the cheek but he stayed sleeping. Kellee was so tired I am not sure it even registered what I whispered into her ear. When I was done I retreated back to the kitchen to finish my pint and sulk some more when I heard foot shuffles down the hallway. Rownan was up. He walked right past me with a “just woke up – eyes still adjusting to the bright lights look”. I called to him and he sleepily informed me that he had to pee. After he was done, I carried him to bed and laid him down whispering to him again “Happy New Year Buddy” and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Now remember he is three and we have never wished him a Happy New Year before while he was awake nor had we talked about it to him.

His response with hugging arms was

“Happy New Years to you Dad.”

Now THAT was the New Years Eve something special I was looking for.

Two things I had leaving his room - a big smile and a tear in my eye.

Five minutes into 2007 and I already have had a Happy New Year - not bad...

Thnx Rown

Merry Christmas

It is the 25th of December again and I am at work again. Have you noticed more this year then years previous a lot of people saying the same thing time and time again,

It just doesn't feel like Christmas this year."

Well I have. One reason could be that they do not have kids with them this Christmas. I was guilty of this until a couple of nights ago when I came home after work and Rownan greeted me very excitedly at the door. More excited then usual, he had his hand cupped over his mouth doing his whisper/shout thing telling me that Mom and him had a surprise for me and it was under the tree. Before I could say anything else he told me, still in his whisper/shout mode,

It's a hockey sweater!!!"

I guess whisper/shouting counts as not telling me what the present is. He's three, so the novelty of not knowing what’s beneath the wrapping and ribbon is lost on him. He’s just fired up about presents in general, especially when it’s a hockey sweater for Dad!

I know that for Kellee and I, Rownan will make it “feel” like Christmas for us – thnx Rown, best present EVER!

ICU Baby

This is a simple case of what you do to others will come back and bite you in the ass. It all started when during Rownan's birthday I gave my brother Tim my camcorder to get some shots of Kellee and I with Rownan. Well I guess he could not resist taking a close-up of Kellee's butt and this is the repercussion!!!

Confession

OK I can't stand it any more.

I need to tell the true story of why Rownan was born two months early...


Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Hosenfefer Hump

Also known as:
It’s been a while since I donned the red'n black fleece of a Rabbit Hill Snow Resort employee but I still miss that "little hill just outside of Edmonton". It was like my second home - wait it WAS my home and I miss my RH family... I keep an eye on things vicariously thought the web site and it looks DAM GOOD!!! That’s ‘cuz most of the pics on the site I can take credit for. Not the fancy web design stuff but I was the guy that made the camera go “click”.

So go check the web site then head out there and strap on skis or a board and have a blast. This year has been their best year for snow in a while. They finally opened their back bowl!!

When you get there, tell them Jason says “Hi” and they might even let you ski/ride for double the price. Watch out for Rich though - he might come from Tulsa and poke you with a stick...

Free Breast Exam

I thought of Ward...well actually Wards breasts...when I saw this. I think "Breast Exam Cam" is hiring - I am so in!!!!

Why a Guy Got Fired from Apple

I just had to share this with you. Its about a former Apple customer service representative who shows what he feels led to his dismissal. Point for Canadians!!

Legend of Rownan

Of course the title should read the Legend of Ronin (pronounced the same) as according to Wikipedia:

“… ronin were masterless Samurai during the feudal period (1185–1868) of Japan. A samurai became masterless from the ruin or fall of his master, or after the loss of his master's favor or privilege. Since a ronin doesn't serve any lord, he is no longer a samurai. A samurai is a "servant", since the noun came from the verb "saburau" which is the Japanese for "to serve".”

Another spelling, very popular in Ireland, is Ronan. This is in fact where we had heard the name first, not in Ireland but through the Irish community in Edmonton. While Kellee was pregnant with our first, I was playing men’s league Gaelic football and one of the players was from Ireland and his name was Ronan. In the first of many weird coincidences to come, this Ronan turned out to be Kellee’s Mom’s respiratory therapist a year after Rownan's birth.

When our first son was born we had the name Merrick picked out for him but when we actually laid eyes on him, it just didn’t suit him. Merrick, to me, is an individual with dark hair and sharp features. Rownan was anything but a Merrick. Ann Rice titled one of her vampire novels Merrick with Merrick being the lead vampire. We passed around a few other names and Ronan came up again. We both liked it, Kellee changed the spelling so people would pronounce it easier here in Canada and the name Rownan stuck.

Now here is where the really weird part begins.

Rownan was 8 weeks early and at only 28 hours old they diagnosed him with a perforated bowel makng it necessary to have surgery and a 2 month stay at the NICU at the U of A’s Stollery Hospital. The picture shows him after surgery with the incision across his stomach. He did great and pulled through with flying colours thanks to the staff at the NICU.

During the time Rownan was in the hospital, Kellee’s Dad bought us the movie Ronin where I learned of the masterless samurai called ronin and sepaku, the Japanese ritual for suicide. The way that ronin perform sepaku is by slicing open their stomachs with a blade. Hearing that my hair on my arms stood up - our boy named Rownan now has a scar across his belly…

I'm a New Phasha - Isn't Dat Kazy

Yes the rumours are true - I am a proud Daddy of a new baby boy. Check out the details on my Family Blog. Here is a photo of Rownan, baby Braun and me in Rownan's new bed.

Aftermath Video

Here is a little video clip of what my wife did after reading my last blog entry...

Who’s Tougher

Been out of the Blog loop a while – sorry to all you die hard UTCWAP Blog fans (Wardo & Mego) but I have been kind of busy.

One of my busy activities has been baby making. He/She should be here any day.

Is it OK for me to say “we” are having a baby? Some people say that the Mom does all of the work but that the Dad takes credit for “having the baby”. We Dads do a lot of work too! While Mom is being slowly and increasingly tortured from with in for 9 months , us Dads have to listen to all the whining and requests for us to make it better. What can we do? Is there actually a way we can take all the pain away and no one told us. Maybe it will be in the Daddy Instructional DVD I bid for on eBay that I should allow 6 to 8 weeks for delivery. Maybe I can find the almighty answer in the ever accurate and all knowing Wikipedia.

So the question arises – Who’s Tougher – us Men or you Women. Yes it is true that you Women push a 5-pin bowling ball out your crotch but lets look at the big picture. How many times does an average woman give birth? Two? Three? Lets say four for arguments sake. So if you had these women rate the pain level a zero to ten with ten being the worst pain they have ever felt, what would the rating be? Again for the sake of argument lets say they rate it all the way up to a ten. SO – ten times four is 40. Would it be fare to give the rating of giving birth to four children a 40 on the pain scale?

OK now lets look at us Men. Hands down the worst pain for us - getting kicked in the nuts. There is always one little girl in the play ground who likes to see the facial expressions of the boys when she walks up and out of the blue lays her size 5 to an unsuspecting crotch. If you ask I would have to say that this pain rakes up there at least at an 8 on the ol’ pain-o-scale. Now we boys usually get the old crotch shot annually even if we needed it or not. So if you start counting crotch shots starting at school age (~5), by the time you are 35 (average age of a birthing woman) you would have at least 30 contacts give or take a few near misses. This adds up to a whopping 240 point on the ol’ pain-o-scale. So I say to all you prego’s out in baby making land, stop complaining about how much it hurts cuz we have it worse then you do.

Just walk up to us and kick us in the nuts!!

Pen tricks? Ya I can do a few pen tricks.

I thought I was pretty good at the pen spinning thing but I bow down within the immense shadow that these Masters cast. I am not worthy even to show you this video…

Cougar Defined

The term "Cougar" describes a woman in her forties who smokes drinks and prowls clubs and pubs on the hunt for fresh meat (young viral men in their twenties). Cougars tend to be divorced and sometimes with cubs. The most successful cougars are those who married well and got huge divorce settlements. Lesser Cougars clawed their way to the top and made their own money. Species characteristics, according to one source, include an avid consumption of home products such as tinfoil and/or Cheez Whiz and a have limited interest/capacity for technology. Diet leans toward high fat content but Cougars are usually in shape due to genetics and extensive shopping, dinner party planning and traveling habits. There is a less expensive subspecies that commonly wears yellow Spandex, 6 inch high heels shoes and faux Value Village fir coat. Instead of the bar as hunting grounds, this modified version stalks the produce section of your local grocery store. Common name for this subspecies is Spandex Grandma and can be identified by home hair dye job and pony tail which pulls face wrinkles flat. What is common of all Cougars is that they all wear lots of makeup, Lee press-on nails and goddy jewelry.

Wheee!

Two fold reason for posting this. First is that it is the right thing to do and second is that people always say to me Dr. BB, what it the best advice can give me about my PC? My comment is to dump Microsoft's Internet Explore as your internet connector and get Firefox instead. Firefox is way much very more betterer then anything ever created ever-ever. The following video is educational, heart wrenching and based on a true story. I hope it will help explain everything to open your eyes to a new beginning - Wheee!

WTF?!!?

Nothing to say really - What can you say about it? It's a natural human behavior but some how just not right - WTF