Merry Christmas

It is the 25th of December again and I am at work again. Have you noticed more this year then years previous a lot of people saying the same thing time and time again,

It just doesn't feel like Christmas this year."

Well I have. One reason could be that they do not have kids with them this Christmas. I was guilty of this until a couple of nights ago when I came home after work and Rownan greeted me very excitedly at the door. More excited then usual, he had his hand cupped over his mouth doing his whisper/shout thing telling me that Mom and him had a surprise for me and it was under the tree. Before I could say anything else he told me, still in his whisper/shout mode,

It's a hockey sweater!!!"

I guess whisper/shouting counts as not telling me what the present is. He's three, so the novelty of not knowing what’s beneath the wrapping and ribbon is lost on him. He’s just fired up about presents in general, especially when it’s a hockey sweater for Dad!

I know that for Kellee and I, Rownan will make it “feel” like Christmas for us – thnx Rown, best present EVER!

ICU Baby

This is a simple case of what you do to others will come back and bite you in the ass. It all started when during Rownan's birthday I gave my brother Tim my camcorder to get some shots of Kellee and I with Rownan. Well I guess he could not resist taking a close-up of Kellee's butt and this is the repercussion!!!

Confession

OK I can't stand it any more.

I need to tell the true story of why Rownan was born two months early...


Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Hosenfefer Hump

Also known as:
It’s been a while since I donned the red'n black fleece of a Rabbit Hill Snow Resort employee but I still miss that "little hill just outside of Edmonton". It was like my second home - wait it WAS my home and I miss my RH family... I keep an eye on things vicariously thought the web site and it looks DAM GOOD!!! That’s ‘cuz most of the pics on the site I can take credit for. Not the fancy web design stuff but I was the guy that made the camera go “click”.

So go check the web site then head out there and strap on skis or a board and have a blast. This year has been their best year for snow in a while. They finally opened their back bowl!!

When you get there, tell them Jason says “Hi” and they might even let you ski/ride for double the price. Watch out for Rich though - he might come from Tulsa and poke you with a stick...

Free Breast Exam

I thought of Ward...well actually Wards breasts...when I saw this. I think "Breast Exam Cam" is hiring - I am so in!!!!

Why a Guy Got Fired from Apple

I just had to share this with you. Its about a former Apple customer service representative who shows what he feels led to his dismissal. Point for Canadians!!

Legend of Rownan

Of course the title should read the Legend of Ronin (pronounced the same) as according to Wikipedia:

“… ronin were masterless Samurai during the feudal period (1185–1868) of Japan. A samurai became masterless from the ruin or fall of his master, or after the loss of his master's favor or privilege. Since a ronin doesn't serve any lord, he is no longer a samurai. A samurai is a "servant", since the noun came from the verb "saburau" which is the Japanese for "to serve".”

Another spelling, very popular in Ireland, is Ronan. This is in fact where we had heard the name first, not in Ireland but through the Irish community in Edmonton. While Kellee was pregnant with our first, I was playing men’s league Gaelic football and one of the players was from Ireland and his name was Ronan. In the first of many weird coincidences to come, this Ronan turned out to be Kellee’s Mom’s respiratory therapist a year after Rownan's birth.

When our first son was born we had the name Merrick picked out for him but when we actually laid eyes on him, it just didn’t suit him. Merrick, to me, is an individual with dark hair and sharp features. Rownan was anything but a Merrick. Ann Rice titled one of her vampire novels Merrick with Merrick being the lead vampire. We passed around a few other names and Ronan came up again. We both liked it, Kellee changed the spelling so people would pronounce it easier here in Canada and the name Rownan stuck.

Now here is where the really weird part begins.

Rownan was 8 weeks early and at only 28 hours old they diagnosed him with a perforated bowel makng it necessary to have surgery and a 2 month stay at the NICU at the U of A’s Stollery Hospital. The picture shows him after surgery with the incision across his stomach. He did great and pulled through with flying colours thanks to the staff at the NICU.

During the time Rownan was in the hospital, Kellee’s Dad bought us the movie Ronin where I learned of the masterless samurai called ronin and sepaku, the Japanese ritual for suicide. The way that ronin perform sepaku is by slicing open their stomachs with a blade. Hearing that my hair on my arms stood up - our boy named Rownan now has a scar across his belly…

I'm a New Phasha - Isn't Dat Kazy

Yes the rumours are true - I am a proud Daddy of a new baby boy. Check out the details on my Family Blog. Here is a photo of Rownan, baby Braun and me in Rownan's new bed.

Aftermath Video

Here is a little video clip of what my wife did after reading my last blog entry...

Who’s Tougher

Been out of the Blog loop a while – sorry to all you die hard UTCWAP Blog fans (Wardo & Mego) but I have been kind of busy.

One of my busy activities has been baby making. He/She should be here any day.

Is it OK for me to say “we” are having a baby? Some people say that the Mom does all of the work but that the Dad takes credit for “having the baby”. We Dads do a lot of work too! While Mom is being slowly and increasingly tortured from with in for 9 months , us Dads have to listen to all the whining and requests for us to make it better. What can we do? Is there actually a way we can take all the pain away and no one told us. Maybe it will be in the Daddy Instructional DVD I bid for on eBay that I should allow 6 to 8 weeks for delivery. Maybe I can find the almighty answer in the ever accurate and all knowing Wikipedia.

So the question arises – Who’s Tougher – us Men or you Women. Yes it is true that you Women push a 5-pin bowling ball out your crotch but lets look at the big picture. How many times does an average woman give birth? Two? Three? Lets say four for arguments sake. So if you had these women rate the pain level a zero to ten with ten being the worst pain they have ever felt, what would the rating be? Again for the sake of argument lets say they rate it all the way up to a ten. SO – ten times four is 40. Would it be fare to give the rating of giving birth to four children a 40 on the pain scale?

OK now lets look at us Men. Hands down the worst pain for us - getting kicked in the nuts. There is always one little girl in the play ground who likes to see the facial expressions of the boys when she walks up and out of the blue lays her size 5 to an unsuspecting crotch. If you ask I would have to say that this pain rakes up there at least at an 8 on the ol’ pain-o-scale. Now we boys usually get the old crotch shot annually even if we needed it or not. So if you start counting crotch shots starting at school age (~5), by the time you are 35 (average age of a birthing woman) you would have at least 30 contacts give or take a few near misses. This adds up to a whopping 240 point on the ol’ pain-o-scale. So I say to all you prego’s out in baby making land, stop complaining about how much it hurts cuz we have it worse then you do.

Just walk up to us and kick us in the nuts!!

Pen tricks? Ya I can do a few pen tricks.

I thought I was pretty good at the pen spinning thing but I bow down within the immense shadow that these Masters cast. I am not worthy even to show you this video…

Cougar Defined

The term "Cougar" describes a woman in her forties who smokes drinks and prowls clubs and pubs on the hunt for fresh meat (young viral men in their twenties). Cougars tend to be divorced and sometimes with cubs. The most successful cougars are those who married well and got huge divorce settlements. Lesser Cougars clawed their way to the top and made their own money. Species characteristics, according to one source, include an avid consumption of home products such as tinfoil and/or Cheez Whiz and a have limited interest/capacity for technology. Diet leans toward high fat content but Cougars are usually in shape due to genetics and extensive shopping, dinner party planning and traveling habits. There is a less expensive subspecies that commonly wears yellow Spandex, 6 inch high heels shoes and faux Value Village fir coat. Instead of the bar as hunting grounds, this modified version stalks the produce section of your local grocery store. Common name for this subspecies is Spandex Grandma and can be identified by home hair dye job and pony tail which pulls face wrinkles flat. What is common of all Cougars is that they all wear lots of makeup, Lee press-on nails and goddy jewelry.

Wheee!

Two fold reason for posting this. First is that it is the right thing to do and second is that people always say to me Dr. BB, what it the best advice can give me about my PC? My comment is to dump Microsoft's Internet Explore as your internet connector and get Firefox instead. Firefox is way much very more betterer then anything ever created ever-ever. The following video is educational, heart wrenching and based on a true story. I hope it will help explain everything to open your eyes to a new beginning - Wheee!

WTF?!!?

Nothing to say really - What can you say about it? It's a natural human behavior but some how just not right - WTF

Hoffta See This

Remember what I said eailier about the Hoff thinking he was... ..well.... ...never mind, just go and check out this video and you'll get my point!!!

Hoffta See this

Train wreck....can't....look....a.....way.......Kit get me out of here!

Back in the Day

I am sure that all of us have done something that in the past, back in collage, that we are not very proud of. For me it was that ex-hooker, mother of three - ya - not so proud. The short of the story is that I am getting over it and I am moving on with my life. Why am I sharing this with you - well I want a friend of mine to face up to his past and be "OK" with it. The man is a respectful man with good job - just got promoted in fact - and I hate to see him lament over his troubled past. Word has it that he has has shown very aggressive tendencies towards a group of his co-workers when they confronted him about this past by throwing objects across the room in anger. Even when asked mano a mano, he denies his past and tries to brush it off like nothing happened. Well, this is why I am putting up this posting on my blog. I know he is a regular reader of my blog and maybe in my little way I can help him see the light of clear guilt free future. Here is a web site with some relaxing sounds that should help you calm the anger and accept who and what you really are - Ass Man - we ARE listening...

The More You Know

I attended a local music festival this Canada Day weekend (oh by the way, happy belated Canada Day!) and I ran into a friend of mine that I used to work with back in my summer camp and canoe instructing days. She is one of those friends that can and will talk about anything – anytime - anywhere no matter who is around. She is just a straight forward no holds bard kinda girl that is a little crazy at times and that’s why I like her. We got onto the topic of “shit” and she relayed some interesting trivia to me.

Did you know that the word “shit” came from a long, long time ago in a land not so far off?

When the benefits of manure were discovered and it was being shipped all over the world as bails in the hulls of big leaky wooden ships. If the poop bails was placed at the bottom of the ship, the water would get at them and make a huge stinky mess. Therefore, the ship dudes, in all there wisdom decided to make sure that the poop bails where not placed at the bottom of the ships but instead high in the hull where water was less likely to get at them and cause the previously mentioned stinky mess. To ensure this happened, a stamp was placed on the side of the poop bails with the letters S-H-I-T meaning that the bails were to be Shipped High In Transit. Now you know!

Awkward E

This is a great comic strip if you are into sick and twisted humour like I. Enjoy! It says so much and yet so very little. Click the pic to check out the plethora of Cyanide and Happiness strips.

Everyone Loves to Hate The Hoff

If you look at this picture, I mean REALLY look at it - deep into Dave's eyes - what is he saying to you? "YEAH! - I have a BIG metal POLE! Seriously though, the guys thinks he is a huge rock star, an amazing actor and a sexy hunk ta-boot! Well I guess he really is all of these in Germany. Give it a shot and type in The Hoff on Google and you'll be suprized with what you find. This is where I found this beauty of a B&W. I plan to get it silk screened on a sheet and then tack the sheet onto my ceiling above my bed. It will help both me and my wifes sex life. When she is looking up she can dream of the best Hoffing she has ever had and when I am looking up I can just look deep in to those eyes and ... ...well... ... just get lost in the moment. Here are all kinds of digitally "re-mastered" pics of the Hoffer himself. I personally like the soap dispenser one. Sorry for no link to that one. I saw it but now that I want to share it, I can't find it again. If you find it let let me know.
I feel for the guy - not in a lovey dovey way (as long as I don't look into those eyes... ...sigh...) but because he really truely thinks that he is one of the greatest entertainers of our time. He had a big pay-for-view concert the same day that OJ Simpson was doing the ol' slow speed chase in the infamous white Bronco. The concert was a total flop. There was a total of 13 people who tuned in to watch it - one was his mother but she fell asleep and missed it!! Gotta hand it to the guy - he keeps his chin up and his jackets 80's leather - becsue it looks oh so good on him. He is on a supposid come back with Simons new show. It should be fun watching him try to make everybody understand that he is kewl, that he is sexy, that he is the one and only HOFF

A Creek is Born

Good day and welcome to day 12 - OK technically its only day 1 but if you are a 30 something, Canadian, and watched way to much TV when you where in school, then you will know where that comes from.

As you scroll through this blog you will likely be bored or at the very most, slightly ammused. You will find pics, clips, links, raves, rants, a plethora of spellig errors, and words that don't really mean anything to anyone. If you have comments to share, good or bad, please let lose and fire away!

Cheers - DBB